Love and Marriage in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice
Many people consider Pride and Prejudice one of the greatest romantic novels, whether they’ve read it or seen one of its many film and TV adaptations. Personally, my favourite adaptation is the BBC version with Colin Firth as Darcy. However, rewatching it alongside listening to a beautifully narrated audiobook has made me appreciate how adaptations rearrange scenes and dialogue—but that’s a discussion for another time!
A Changing Perspective on Pride and Prejudice
I first read Pride and Prejudice as a teenager, and at that time, I was captivated by the romance between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. However, when I revisited it later, I began to appreciate Jane Austen’s sharp wit and brilliant social commentary. Two of her best comic creations appear in this novel: Mrs. Bennet, obsessed with marrying off her daughters, and Mr. Collins, the pompous, self-important clergyman. Both characters bring humour while highlighting the serious social realities of Regency England, especially regarding marriage.
Another realization that came with rereading was the deeper exploration of pride and prejudice. Initially, I thought Darcy represented pride and Elizabeth, prejudice. However, both characters possess elements of both traits. Elizabeth takes pride in her values and judgments, which leads to her misjudging Darcy. Meanwhile, Darcy’s pride in his social status and initial prejudice against Elizabeth’s lower standing nearly costs him happiness. Their journey is not just about romance but also personal growth, learning to understand and respect each other.
Marriage in Pride and Prejudice
I want to look at five of the marriages Jane Austen writes about, with each illustrating different aspects of love and societal expectations in the Regency.
1. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet: A Marriage of Mismatch
Elizabeth and her sisters grow up witnessing their parents’ unhappy marriage. Mr and Mrs Bennet are an example of a marriage based on an initial attraction but with no consideration given as to the importance of shared interests and values. Mr. Bennet, initially drawn to his wife’s beauty, later realizes she lacks intelligence and shares none of his interests. He retreats into his books, leaving Mrs. Bennet to indulge in gossip. When we meet them Mrs Bennet is obsessed with finding suitable husbands for her 5 daughters - something which is of importance especially as they will not have any significant dowry or inheritance. As the novel progresses we see how the behaviour of both parents has the potential to harm the marriage chances of the sisters. This dynamic offers a cautionary tale about rushing into marriage without true compatibility.
2. Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins: A Marriage of Convenience
Elizabeth’s friend Charlotte Lucas, at 27, fears being left unmarried and dependent on her family especially as her brother will inherit their property. She is intelligent and being older than Elizabeth has given up on the idea of a love match. Rather than living as an unmarried woman on a limited income or becoming dependent on her brother after her Father's death she pragmatically accepts Mr. Collins’s proposal. Charlotte sees her chance after Elizabeth rejects Mr Collins, inviting him to stay with her parents which while making things easier for Elizabeth also allows her what might be her last chance of making a respectable marriage. While Elizabeth finds this shocking, Charlotte represents the reality many women faced—marrying for stability rather than affection.
"I am not romantic, you know; I never was. I ask only a comfortable home; and considering Mr. Collins's character, connection, and situation in life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the marriage state.”
3. Lydia Bennet and George Wickham: A Reckless Marriage
Lydia, the youngest Bennet sister is her mother's favourite. She is lively, pretty and lives for balls, dancing and to find a handsome husband! In 19th century England boys could marry at 12 and girls at 14 so while her marriage to the older Wickham was not illegal it was still imprudent. Lydia is in the throws of first love, a teenage crush but unfortunately Wickham is only too eager to take advantage of this - and of her! We know what is only known to Darcy and Elizabeth, that Wickham previously eloped with Darcy's much younger sister but they were found before they could marry and Darcy had managed to hush up the affair. This scandal nearly ruins the entire family, as an unmarried woman living with a man would be socially devastating and as she had no money Wickham had no intention of marrying her. Thanks to Darcy’s intervention, Wickham is pressured into marrying Lydia, but their relationship is doomed to be unhappy, much like Mr. and Mrs. Bennet’s, but without even the financial stability.
4. Jane Bennet and Charles Bingley: The Ideal Romantic Marriage
For Jane and Bingley it's a case of love at first sight, and as hey get to know eachother better this initial attraction is strengthened by their shared values and similar characters. Theirs is a simple, pure love but one which though excitedly welcomed by Mrs Bennet is not approved of by his siters or Darcy. Jane does not come from the same social circle, does not have any inheritance and they are shocked by the behaviour of her family with the exception of Elizabeth. However, once misunderstandings are cleared, they have a happy and harmonious relationship, offering a contrast to the other, less fortunate marriages.
5. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy: A Marriage of Growth and Mutual Respect
At the heart of the novel is Elizabeth and Darcy’s evolving relationship. Initially, they misunderstand and misjudge each other, but as the story progresses, they grow as individuals.
“Your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.”
“And yours,” he replied with a smile, “is willfully to misunderstand them.”
It is this personal growth together with their growing understanding of the other that is so key to their relationship and which makes this so much more than a straightforward "boy meets girl..." romantic novel. In fact this plot device of dislike turning to love is a very common one now showing how influential the book has been on writers over the past 2012 years. Darcy starts to become attracted to Elizabeth very early on and is especially attracted by her eyes.
"Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow."
With Elizabeth it is a slower process,
"It has been coming on so gradually that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley."
So is it just that she sees the financial security marriage to Darcy would give her? I think not, Elizabeth finds it hard to talk of serious subjects without speaking in a humorous manner such as this.
Darcy learns humility, while Elizabeth overcomes her prejudices. Unlike Charlotte, Elizabeth refuses to marry for anything less than love and respect, making her one of literature’s most admirable heroines.
Why Pride and Prejudice Remains Relevant
Each time I revisit this novel, I discover new layers. While it is a witty and engaging romance, it also offers insight into Regency-era society, particularly the limited options available to women. Austen’s keen observations about human nature make her characters feel real and relatable even today.
This book holds a special place in my heart, and I even use pages from a well-loved copy to create jewellery, ensuring Elizabeth and Darcy’s names are always included. If you’ve only ever watched an adaptation, I highly recommend reading or listening to the book—there’s so much more to appreciate beyond the romance. Meanwhile I'm off to watch the BBC adaptation again!
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